


Calloused hands

by LilFicShark



Series: Overwatch Twitter Threads [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Soft Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 01:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16800631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilFicShark/pseuds/LilFicShark
Summary: Jesse saves his tears for the middle of the night but it’s not as easy when your boyfriend is there.





	Calloused hands

There’s a pair of hands on his face. They’re calloused and work worn but they cup his cheeks so tenderly he almost wants to pull away. A thumb wipes the dampness from his skin as palms apply the gentlest of preassure to lift his gaze to meet that of the owner of the hands. Brown eyes stare at him with a familiar intensity, pupils blown wide. A natural reaction as the man strains to see him in the dimness of the room.

“Why are you crying?” Hanzo asks the deep grumble of voice heartbreakingly beautiful. Jesse almost wishes he hadn’t spoken.

The gunslinger feels his throat close , a restrained sob choking out any words he tries to give. Defeated he crumbles his face further and tries to pull away. He wants to shield his expression. Hide what a mess he is from the perfectly imperfect man before him. He wants to push it down like he normally does, pull his face into the same easy going smile he’s been holding for twenty years. But he can’t, somehow his muscles won’t form the facade. The hands on his face stay firm holding him in place, preventing any escape. Jesse is forced to continue the eye contact as another wave of tears free fall down his face.

“Jesse.” God, the way he says his name. Like he’s more than what he actually is. “ Jesse, why are you crying?”

“Because... Because you’re going to leave me.” The words sound so pathetic. Shakey and strained they barely make it past his lips.

Hanzo’s brows furrow further, his face turning from concerned to scowling. Jesse scrunches his eyes shut and pushes into the warm touch of his lovers hand. Hanzo lets him, his grip softening so Jesse can tilt his head slightly.

“ Who said I was going to leave you?” Hanzo questions as he shifts on the bed, pulling himself to his knees as he half straddles Jesse to maintain their conversation in comfort.

Defeated and almost too tired to explain the complexity of these thoughts Jesse flops his head forward and onto the man’s chest. Hanzo lets him, his hands leaving his face so he can wrap his arms round Jesse’s head and shoulders instead. It’s a smothering embrace but Jesse feels he needs that right now. Needs to be grounded.

“ No one said anything... I’m just-“ He begins when he feels ready, the brief pause between words filled with nothing but the thrum of the two men’s heart beats and their gentle but shallow breaths. Hanzo holds him tighter as each word passes his lips. Their muffled but this voice is stronger now and Hanzo seems to be getting the message. As messy as it is. “ I’m just so used to people leaving me...That when we finally start settling down they... they find something better. They bolt.”

“Jesse I’m-“ Hanzo starts and Jesse’s glad can’t see his expression. If it was hesitant then Jesse would know he was right. That he wasn’t good enough for Hanzo and the man had already realised that. And if it was loving. well... that would be worse as then it’s just a waiting game. A timer slowly ticking down til their eventual break up.

“ It’s not their fault. I don’t blame them. It’s just the way it is. I’m a steppingstone... a tide over.” Jesse interrupts. He hadn’t planned on talking, or opening up. He was just supposed to make excuses and hope Hanzo doesn’t question him

the morning but now he’s committed. He’s going to lay it out plain and simple for Hanzo. “ No one has anything bad to say about me but I’m not the kind of boy you want to spend your life with.”

The tears return in full force now. They drip down his face faster than he thought possible. Jesse recons he hasn’t cried this hard since he was a kid.

Hanzo is silent above him and Jesse feels what little hope he has slip from his fingers. Unable to think he pulls the other man closer, hugs him round the chest and stuffs his face into the crook of the other man’s collar bone. He doesn’t want to let Hanzo go. He loves him, he really does. More than anyone he’s ever loved because Hanzo gets it. He understands what it’s like to fuck up, to not know who you are and what you want. He gets that and despite seeing what a mess Jesse is he wants him too. Hanzo ispoetic and fierce. Prideful he’s two parts beautiful one part spiteful. He’s feisty and nothing like anyone Jesse’s ever met. And most importantly Jesse loves him. Loves him for everything. Loves how he snaps at him in the mornings before he’s woken up properly and loves how even though he’ll never admit it he gravitates towards any dog he sees.

“ Since my father’s death I have been unsure of many things. Made many decisions I now regret. “ Hanzo rumbles above him, tucking his head down so he’s speaking into Jesse’s shoulder. “ I do not know wholly who I am,for everything I thought I knew about myself has changed. “

Jesse holds onto Hanzo, listening -waiting- for the words he’ll speak to end their partnership.

“ But I do know some things. I know that I like cake...and sake.” The other man laughs at his own joke and Jesse feels his chest jump with the noise. “ I know that I love my brother and that I am glad he’s back in my life. “

Hanzo and Genji’s relationship had been rocky when Jesse first met Hanzo but slowly the brothers were learning to be around one another again. Rekindling that brotherly bond day by day as the learned of the new person their sibling had become.

“ But what I know most, although If I’m honest it surprised me, is that I am in love with you Jesse McCree.” Jesse freezes his grip tightening on Hanzo and his night shirt, knuckles white. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you Cowboy.”

He’s crying again, chest heaving in great sobs but it’s happy tears now. Ones of relief and frustration. He’s angry with himself for getting swept up but also so, so greatful he did. That it allowed him to hear these words. To dampen the feelings of unworthiness and fear that plagued Jesse’s mind since they started their relationship.

“I love you too Hanzo. “ He says through his tears, pulling away from the other man only to kiss him once he’s finished his sentence.

Jesse wishes he could spend the rest of his life kissing Hanzo.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone at work... we die like men :surrounded by salt water thinking about rugged soft gays.


End file.
